Just something...

I have started many blogs and never finished them and this bothers me so I figure I will post this one since it is the only one that sounds like it could actually be done!

It's 3 a.m. Saturday morning and I'm awake like always. My girls are finally on the same schedule for waking up. Right now they both have colds so it is a little harder for them to sleep but they are managing well. It's times like these I start thinking. They both rely on me for everything and yet I don't feel like they demand a lot. Don't get me wrong... I have my moments of thinking they are too demanding but in reality they really aren't that bad. Liathana is worse than Rosalina when it comes to being demanding. I think its cause she never had to demand anything the first year of her life... I always just knew what she needed and did it. When Rosa was born it got harder to keep doing that for her so now she demands it. My Rosa on the other hand never had me doing everything she needed right away... she often had to wait a little bit for whatever it was and so she has a LOT more patience.

well that is it...sorry it isn't finished.

crazy life... EEG, new bed, new room!

It's been a while since I have written.. things are hectic here. Rosa had an EEG a few weeks ago. My poor baby! They are supposed to stay on for 48 hrs. but since it was a Friday when they put it on her they would not be open again until Monday to take it off. At first I didn't think anything bad about this. It tool them 45 minutes to put all the electrodes, tape, and goop on her then another 10 minutes to wrap her head so it would all stay on. It was an hour of torture! When they were all done we were sent home and she slept most of the way so I guess that was a good thing. During the weekend Rosalina managed to knock all thier hard work off at one point or another. Liethana wanted to pull it all off (so did I lol) and to top it all off I couldn't hold her cause the smell coming from the setup was so bad it was making me have asthma attacks!!! So not only was she confused about why she had this thing on her head she was upset cause I wasn't able to care for her!

So finally its Monday morning and our appointment was at 2:30 that afternoon. We decided we were not waiting cause there were electrons that were already off. So we called up children's hospital and they said it should be fine and to come down to remove it. All I could think was yay! When we were there they were confused on why we were early but took us anyhow. And that was awful too... they had to pull all the tape off and it was pulling up skin! My poor baby girl was screaming and there was nothing I could do about it!

In the end poor Rosalina ended up being afraid to lay back for anything. She couldn't lay back without being scared. Even trying to eat was difficult cause she was so scared she would gulp more air than she would eat food. There have been many upset bellies since the EEG.

Now Rosalina is back to her old self again though she still doesn't want to lay down and sleep... but has gotten over the fear of laying back to eat so her belly is doing much better. We got all the sticky residue from the tape off and she is back to smelling like she is supposed to.

Liethana delt with all this very well. She gave her sister lots of support as only a one year old can... using silent love. Rosalina got more kisses and hugs in that one weekend than she has in the first 3 months of her life! It was quite cute.

Right now we are all settling in to a routine. I try to plan my days anticipating when Rosalina is going to have another wonder week. Liethana is finally done them I believe so it should get better from this point on for her. No more huge changes in how the world is perceived.

Though she has no more huge changes in how things are perceived she has a HUGE change going on for her. My lil angel is now in a toddler bed. unfortunatly this is the second night in it and she managed to fall out of it (with me sitting right there too) and gave herself quite a scare. she is back in it to sleep and i have a blanket and pillows on the floor next to it incase she falls again. we are going to get a rail for it this weekend so she will no longer have to worry. other than that things are going good for her.

Anthony is finnally in his downstairs room. He has been wanting this for so long now and is happy about it though he still wants the rug we promised him... and the new bed. after we get the rail for Liethana I am going to save up to get him the bed. It might be a few months cause I have a car payment to make but it will be soon.

I think this is everything I can write without waking Rosalina who is in the same room as my computer so it is time for bed for me. talk to you all soon.

here are some pics of rosa when she had the EEG on...




and theses are what her head looked like after they took it off... my poor baby!

update for you all!!!

Well... here we are almost 2 full months after Rosalina was born and life is starting to settle into a pattern. It's hectic and crazy... I can say, however, that it has gotten sooooo much better since grandma Charlene started taking the girls sometimes. The hardest thing I am finding is that I have to balance the old an the new... gatta find time to spend with the older kids and still take care of the newest baby who still demands a LOT of time.

Sooooo here is what is new with us... Liethana has started having night terrors lately... we have no idea why. I have an opinion though. I think she is unsure of her place and doesn't know how to deal with it and this is just how it is coming out. I am just going to spend extra time soothing her when she has a bad night and when its day time I am going to try to find time for just us. Another possible cause is that her body is using the night terrors to deal with the pain from her teeth coming in. It seems like she has worse nights when she is cutting teeth. That could also just be the teeth making the terrors worse though. Who knows how the mind processes pain when we are that young. I'm hoping that my plan for more time helps.

I need to make time for my son as well... he is such a big help to me. He acts like a lil man and sometimes its hard to remember he is still a kid. He is getting so big now. This weekend we are supposed to work on getting him into his new room. He told me he doesn't want to wait till we can fix it up so its perfect... he wants to move in ASAP lol. He's not demanding my time like I thought he would. Instead he asked for 2 things to happen. 1 was to go to the timeshare we own and 2 was to go to a movie with me before school starts again. We have a weekend planned for the timeshare and I am trying to find a movie we both will like for sometime this week. It only seems fair to at least try to give him those anyhow. We shall see what will come of it.

Nightmares....

Do you ever stop and wonder about nightmares? Tonight my thoughts wander in that direction. I remember having some major bad dreams when I was younger. I have no idea what causes a bad dream but I think it is every parents hope to have there kids NOT have them.
If I think back to how my son Anthony had them I can only remember being 16 and having no clue what to do for him. My loving, wonderful,amazing mom was the one to handle his bad dreams.
Now my daughter Liethana is plagued by them and I think back to how my mom handled Anthony's nightmares and I try to do as she would have. I am far from good at this part of the parenting world.
Tonight Lieth had a REALLY bad dream and when I went in she was screaming bloody-murder. I thought she was awake cause she was standing up in bed... Oh how wrong I was!!! When I picked her up to hug and comfort her she started wailing at the top of her lungs like I was trying to kill her! It was then that I noticed her eyes were closed. I put her down and she screamed worse... which I didn't think was even possible! Instead of picking her up again I started rubbing her back and telling her I was here and she needed to open her eyes. And let me just say... what a relief when she did! She was alert and responsive again instead of just flailing around scared. Her dream was bad enough that she started shaking. I wasn't sure she was fully awake so I just rubbed her back for a while and then when I picked her up again I started humming to her. It was a very emotional moment for the both of us. I felt such relief that she was ok again.
It was so scary to think that she was asleep when I first picked her up because I remember being told that if someone is sleep walking and u wake them up u could kill them from shock or something like that. What she was doing was so similar that I was afraid it was the same thing.
Now she is back in bed sleeping peacefully and all I can think is wow my poor baby. Hopefully we can put a stop to these nightmares and she can be ok again all the time when sleeping.
I also hope that little Rosalina doesn't go through this. But I also know that if she does then I am that much better prepared for it

already a month!

Boy does time fly! I can't believe that my lil Rosalina is already a month old! So far she has had a lot of issues so it shouldn't surprise me that this much time has gone by. My lil one can't eat formula at the moment. they think she can when she reaches 3 months old but we shall see.

So far I have had MANY days of no sleep due to having Liethana and Rosalina so close in age. When one starts cryin in the middle of the night the other starts up too. Liethana wants to be in my arms every time Rosalina is and that is not always possible so I get to listen to screaming fits. Lucky me right lol. It is all part of being a parent I just keep tellin myself. And then I remind myself that someday soon it will get easier and maybe I can sleep more than an hour a night. Anthony has developed a deaf ear at night where he can now sleep through the fits from them and so has Shawn for the most part. It’s like pullin hens teeth to get him up lol.. though once I do get him up he helps out a lot.

And so this is my life at the moment lol.. We shall see what the next month brings!

The first week...

Here is the pic I promised of Rosalina!

Now to tell you how things are going! The first week has come and gone... so much has changed already... Liethana is soooo jealous of her new lil sister. She doesn't understand why mommy and daddy have to spend so much time caring for what she probably is thinking is a big pain in the but lol. Rosalina is a good baby... she sleeps well.. sometimes too well lol. She is suposed to wake up every 3 hours for food till her jaundice is gone but she wants to sleep for 5 hours at night then she will wake up every 3 after that. The 5 hours starts at around 11 p.m. when I am the most tired and the most likely to sleep through the alarm lol. I can't wait till she is no longer needing to be woken up to eat. It will mean I get some sleep lol.

Liethana went through a few days where she just did NOT want to sleep. It is my opinion that she thought Shawn and I didn't love her anymore and she was afraid we would disapear again (Shawn stayed with me in the hospital) and this time we wouldn't come back. I think she knows we are not going anywhere now... but also that the baby is also not going anywhere eather lol. I don't think she likes that part. We do everything we can to let her know she is still loved just as much as before. I can only hope she will ajust soon since she has taken to having a screaming fit every time she starts getting unhappy... I know she is only a year old but I am beginning to wonder if the "terrible two's" start at age 1 lol.

Anthony is ajusting well to having another lil one around. He unfortunatly has a bad case of Poison Ivy and can't spend time with them really till it is gone... Babies having that is NOT a good idea lol. That is prittymuch everything so far... well everything that is on mymind right now anyhow lol. I'll tell you more when I remember it!

The new chapter...

It's finally happened... I gave birth to a beautiful little girl on the 19th of this month. It has been 2 days that we have all been home and already I can tell you things are going to be verrrrrry different! For example my lil Liethana is not liking her sister getting ANY attention from her mommy and daddy. She just does not want to share! She has developed this habit of shrieking at the top of her lungs when ever we do anything she doesn't like now and I have NO idea how to stop it. I think I know why she is acting like this and it makes it a little easier to deal with. She has been the center of all our worlds... yes Anthony is included in that! We all gave her the attention she wanted when she wanted it lol... Not the best thing to do as I have now figured out! Well anyway... Now there are times when we can't give her the attention as soon as she wants it and she is resenting the fact that she has to wait... Or so I think. Also there is the possibility that she thinks because we make her wait for the attention she is loved less. This is sooo far from the truth but how do you tell a one year old that she is still loved exactly like before? we are currently just riding the wave of jealousy she is feeling and trying to show her with hugs and kisses that we love her just the same. Hopefully she will realize that it's true!

Oh ya... here is the info on my newest addition!

Rosalina Esme Robin

Born 6-19-2010

Time 2:22 P.M.

Weight 8 lbs. 2 oz.

Height 19 1/2 inches

I'll post a picture when I get them downloaded off the camera.

Almost time....

So time is FLYING by... soon I will be 29 and shortly after that I will have another lil one to terrorize me lol. At the same time I am looking forward to all the changes that are happening I am made sad by them. It will be nice to know if I have a boy or girl growing in this ever widening beach ball belly lol, but at the same time I am nervous about how well I will handle two who are in diapers! I was hoping that Liethana would be talkin a lil better... and now that I think about it... she might be by the time the baby is born. I'm not looking forward to the sleepless nights again lol... or should I say the waking up at all hours! But again the good thing is that even though I will be waking up at all hours, I get to cuddle my lil ones! It almost seems that for everything that I am nervous about there is something good to look at too! I am trying to focus mostly on the good things. I have to think about the other things too or I will feel overwhelmed and that is not where I wanna be either.

Shawn is coming along as a dad... He still has a LONG way to go before he can claim he "knows what he is doing" lol. There are a lot of times he tells me "you have done this before... what do I do?" and all I can say is what I did if it happened with Anthony and when it is something new I can only say what I think we should do... It's not much help when he is panicking or something lol. He and Anthony are starting to get a real friendship type relationship going... But then Shawn acts like the step dad and it goes out the window lol. Anthony likes spending time with him but he doesn't like when he disciplines him. I tell Anthony he has to get used to it cause Shawn isn't going anywhere! The pic of them playing playstation is about 2 years old... Anthony is bigger as you can see in other posts and Shawn has short hair now. As you can see in the pic of Shawn and Liethana, he is very much enjoying being a dad! I swore she was posing with him for this one... both with HUGE smiles on and the hand on his chin is priceless!

I want Anthony to feel that love too... Shawn loves him but since he has spent so much time making sure Anthony new he was not replacing his dad things are harder between them. Shawn is unsure how to show Anthony he loves him as much as he loves his daughter and Anthony doesn't know if Shawn wants to be his step dad or not. Shawn is gonna work on it... I'm sure Anthony will notice. I just want for Anthony to know that the new lil babies don't replace him in any way, and that there is plenty of love to go around! I know it isn't easy on him to see her get so much love and he gets love but doesn't see it as the same. To be honest it isn't the same. He gets discipline as well as love where she is just starting to get the discipline due to how lil she is. I'm sure as she gets older he will see she is getting the same as him when she does wrong and when they do right then they both get praise. But that is another story. For now things are continuing to change and grow and we shall see where the winds carry us. One thing is for sure... It is going to be an interesting ride and a trip that will take a lifetime!!!

too long since I last wrote!

It has been a LONG while since I wrote... and to be honest... as I was thinking about this blog I had the whole thing planned out on how I would say things and what I wanted to write. Now however, when I actually have the time to write all those lovely things I had planned, I find I'm at a loss for words. Soooo much has happened and I didn't write it all down! I guess the best place to start then is to talk about everything from the past few months as I remember them so I'm sorry they are probably going to be out of order. Anthony is handling being a big brother with flying colors! We do hit points where he gets really frustrated with her though lol but other than that they are sooo cute together! In this picture Liethana crawled over to him when I was intending to get a picture of just him. He started laughing and said she was a camera hog lol. They are both such hams each wanting there own camera time lol. Another good thing is that she made him laugh so I was able to get a REAL smile... sometimes I think he HATES to smile in his pictures! All and all he is doing so good ajusting... I'm so proud of him. I know it hasn't been easy for him going from being an only child for 11 years and then bam... here she is! Add to that the fact that now there is another lil one on the way and he is being amazing about it all. I think he is hoping the new baby will be a boy... to be honest so are Shawn and I lol. One lil me is enough! Anthony is a lot more like his father than I care for but he is who he is and I love him for that. I think he is acting like he saw his dad act because he misses him and sometimes resents me and shawn being together. He once told me I should still be with his father and I had to explain that some people get along better when they are not together. His father and I are those type of people... I know that hurt. There are so many things I wish he didn't have to go through and I wish I wasn't a source of sadness in any way. The truth is he has done well ajusting to Shawn as a stepfather. He sometimes wants him to be a bigger part of his life and sometimes he wants him to take a back seat since he isn't his birth father.

Shawn took Anthony to work in this picture and sat him in a "dozer" he was fixing... It was after work hours but the boss said it was ok and Anthony was in heaven! He looks soooo TINY in there lol! That was before I was pregnant. I think it was 2 years ago for Christmas that I let Shawn buy a bea-bea gun (no idea how to spell that lol) for Anthony and him to share. It was something they could do together that Anthony wouldn't feel he was being treated like a baby. Now I'm extreamly glad I did that. It gives them something fun they can do together and lets Anthony feel special for a lil while. It also gives them something to bond over. Shawn wants to eventually take Anthony hunting... though this would normaly upset me I know that the animal will be going to a Native resurvation so I am not as upset. I don't know if Anthony is going to be able to actually shoot an animal though. But that is a story for another day!

Liethana is growing soooo fast! It seems like yesterday I brought her home from the hospital and had panic attacks over if she was getting everything she needed. Now here it is almost a year later. I can't believe she is going to be a year old on June 24th! Where does the time go??? She is a lil genious I sware! I know... every mother thinks that about there kids. She is already talking a lil... she crawls... she trys to walk with help... there isn't anything she sees

someone do that she doesn't try to do! The one that blows me away is her talking though. She already strings 2 siliblas together sometimes... like when she wants to she will say hello... usually it is just hi but let me tell you when she says hello you know it lol. She randomly says good doggy... ummm that one is a bit advanced in my opinion but she does say it. I'm sure your thinking noooo you just think she says it... and I would agree with you if I was the only one who heard it. The truth is that 2 other people have heard it and were like wow. Some of the other words she says are wow, ow, dada, mama, low low low (she loves repeating that one lol) and sometimes she says la la la like she is singing a song. For 10 months old this is a verrrrry big vocabulary in my opinion. She just amazes me more every day! She has out grown her first carseat too. We had to go get one that can sit both facing front and back... she is still too lil to face front. She has reached 20 lbs... and let me tell you... when you are pregnant and have to walk up a flight of stairs holding a 20 lbs. baby you know what heavy is lol.

All in all my kids are my world and I can't wait to find out what this one is. Ya, I still haven't found out what it is. Soon I hope to know. As far as the pregnancy is going... things are moving along. The baby will be born in June. I have a running joke going in my head... no one else thinks it is funny but I do. My new baby has a due date that is a combination of my other children's birthdays... Anthony was born February 26th and Liethana was born June 24th. This baby is going to be born in Liethana's month on Anthony's day, June 26th. It's a riot to me! We don't have another girls name picked out... but if it's a boy we are naming it Christopher Charles Robin... still not sure about the spelling lol... Shawn wants to use the exact spelling for his grandfather's name as the middle name.

And now my time has run out... Liethana is up from her nap. I'll tell more when I get another chance. Hope you like the pictures! I'll do my best not to be so long between writing again but life is demanding and I never know when I will have a momment to spare!

New Revalations!

I recently found out that my neice also has a blog on here. I am so excited to be able to see how her and her family are doing. They live in Texas so I never see them. I think this is the first time in forever I have seen pic's of them lol. Amy the girls are beautiful and I LOVE Ava in her hat!

Soooooo, now that I know that she has a blog too I have decided to try again to keep up with this. I now have 2 reasons to post...though the first one turned out to be kinda weak lol. My pen pal and I keep in touch but it is so random that neither of us were keeping up with our blogs. I have to agree blogging is one of the wonderful ways to keep in touch with family that is far away.

Now that I am going to try to actually keep up with this...though I have no idea how often I'll be able to write...I think it is time to update lol.

Anthony is now 12...and he is going through that I wanna do what I wanna do stage where they are constantly rolling there eyes at everything you say and giving you attitude if you say something against something they have said....well that is where he is in life lol. He thinks I say things to annoy him (I thought the same thing at his age lol) and that can't possibly be saying it cause it's true lol. He'll get over it someday lol. I also have a daughter named Liethana (born June 24th 2009) ...ya I know...hard to say...it is said like this... Lee-a-thana. I hope that helps lol. She is just a lil ball of energy and smiles and giggles lol. I lucked out with a happy baby. Every day is something new with her. She has started to say words...Wow, oww, dada, and buba (bottle lol) are her arsonal hehe. she said mama once but untill she is saying it regularly I am not counting it. I encoraged dada first since she is shawns first born. Plus...Anthony said mama first hehe. Now I have another child on the way. This one is due June 26th this year...I have no idea if it is a girl or boy yet, but if it is a boy we already have the name.... Christopher Charles Robin. Have you ever seen winny the pooh...you know the cute cartoon about the bear that is stuffed with fluff and is the best friend of a young boy. pooh lives in the hundred acer wood...well the friend is christopher robin...purfect since I LOVED that cartoon as a kid...hehe. Now I have a legitimate reason to use the full name lol. I love that I have this last name now lol.

So that is all I have time to write at the momment since Liethana just woke up. I'll talk to you all soon-ish hehe.